Image Courtesy Liz Young
What is more painful?
The cigarette burning her skin or the beer bottle smashing her nose?
Deepa’s mom said “It is okay, Dev is not a bad guy. He just gets violent when he is drunk, rest of the time he is a great husband and a good father. Please learn to adjust. A woman has to make compromises and sacrifices to keep the marriage intact.”
“Oh really!! How about me getting drunk and hitting him back?” Deepa asked angrily.
“Are you crazy? A woman never hits back.” Her mom screamed.
Silent tears cleaned the blood off her face.
‘Crushed’ was written for Friday Fictioners hosted by Rochelle Wisof Field. A weekly 100 word story challenge, inspired by a photo prompt. You can check out other entries, or join in here.
Trina Looks Back 
Perhaps Deepa should stop listening to her mother.
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Ya maybe she should…But her mother represents our society where we all believe that the women’s job is to tolerate and never retaliate. Thanks Liz for visiting and commenting.
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Dear Trina,
Deepa has a right to be angry, to hit back and to leave. Well done and welcome to Friday Fictioneers.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Hi Rochelle, Thanks for hosting Friday Fictioner, it was a pleasure writing for it. I am already looking forward to the next prompt. Coming back to Deepa, it is not always easy to leave and women keep on tolerating the abuse this is the sad but true fact in our society.
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It is time that this woman started hitting back…. cultures be damned!
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Hi Dale,
I absolutely agree with you. But things are easily said than done. Many women still doesn’t have the courage to do that. They have obligations that tie them from hitting back.
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Oh I so understand while having trouble understanding!
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I know how you feel because I feel the same
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Here I have to disagree with Dale. Yes, she could hit back — but she’d probably live to regret it (broken bones and all) — or she may not. Better to walk away, find a safe house.
It’s not just courage women lack so much as options. As you’ve said, Balaka, there are some cultures where a woman alone has no means of support, no way to survive. We in the Western world have ways and means of getting away and supporting ourselves, where many women have zero options. (Except prayer—and I do believe in that.)
In one sense I agree with Ghandi: demanding an eye for an eye leaves everybody blind. Generally speaking, hitting back won’t help one speck. A woman needs to stop telling herself she deserves abuse because she was bad. Then plan your escape, get out, and don’t look back.
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I am sure all women suffering abuse wants to escape…but when has it been easy to escape from a prison…marriage for many women is nothing more than lifelong imprisonment…something they long to escape but cant…because they do not have a place to go, or money to feed their children, or a society to accept them.
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Fairs fair – I recall a next door neighbour throwing her husband though the window and following up with a cast iron frying pan, that was in nineteen fiftytwo!
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Hi Mike, I salute that woman. However not many women have the guts to do that. I wish all women who get abused on a daily basis could do it.
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Sounds like the mom here is quite an enabler. Two wrongs don’t make a right, and he’s twice as apt to punch her if she hits him back. But there’s a time to leave before things get even worse. My sister left when the punches changed to choking.
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HI Christine,
Leaving is not always easy, especially when kids are involved. Often women do not have financial or familial support to take any step, so they keep putting up with the abuse. Good that your sister could leave and walk ahead.
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She left her husband, but she never walked “ahead”. Her second man didn’t beat her, but she found out — years later — he sexually abused her children. It’s not enough just to “bounce” — I really believe a woman has to know where she’s going and that it is indeed a step forward. There are too many men out there looking for single women with kids.
In all fairness, there are women who abuse their men, too. Sometimes physically, more often verbally and that’s cruel, too.
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Oh! that is horrible…life of a woman is not easy anywhere in the world.
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I really appreciated this, Trina and the comments. When I was young and still at school and it was much easier to be black and white in my opinions, I couldn’t understand why a woman wouldn’t leave immediately at the first sign of violence. Now that I’m older and have kids of my own and a family life which isn’t always Brady Bunch, my thinking is much more complex or confused. It’s not that easy to leave and you do need somewhere to go. LOcally, our shelters have been turning women away in droves. I also think it’s important to look at why somebody who wasn’t violent, becomes violent or abusive and see if they can get some kind of help. Severe depression etc really messes with your head and getting someone appropriate treatment would be my first port of call, which could involve them in hospital and the family safe at home.
I don’t see responding to violence with violence as a good idea and at this point, it’s time to get out no matter what.
As a note of caution, it’s important to be aware when you notice as escalation of violence or depression and the need for immediate intervention and being aware of the warning signs.
xx Rowena
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I absolutely agree with you. I do agree that men who inflict abuse on women are mentally depressed. Abuse physical or emotional is a sign of weakness of the perpetrator. Strong and secured men never abuse their women. It is deep rooted depression that needs to be treated. But men again would never agree that they are depressed they would always make the women feel that she deserved it.
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Well written, these ingrained attitudes are hopefully being discarded by the younger generation
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I wish so…unfortunately I feel it is same with even the younger generation.
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Such a heart wrenching story is this. I read through all the comments and being an Indian i can second your views Balaka. But then times, they say are changing. And women must be in the forefront of that change.
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Women can change…but it wont come so easily…maybe our next generation will be better.
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I think it’s very hard to overcome traditions and customs like this, especially since the men have great interest in maintaining the status quo. Someone needs to start though, and maybe others will give strength. Very moving story, well done.
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Thanks a lot…It takes courage and strength to bring change..hope one day women will have the courage.
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Beautifully written. Sadly there are a lot more women who go through this and many daughters who refuse to get marry in fear of this.
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I agree…and thanks for liking it.
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Such a tragic story, reflecting the world we are living in.
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So true, Balaka … 😦 there are millions of women who suffer from domestic violence, pine to get free from abuse but fail to find any support from the family.
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Yes that is the tragedy
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